Most little girls dream about the day they will get married. The tradition is surrounded in mystery and awe-big cakes, big dresses, decorations, food, wine, song, relatives reuniting, and the highlighting of the bride as beauty itself. Who wouldn't want a day that they can plan to be all about them, all that they want, and all that they can imagine? And...people go along with it willingly! Indeed, the bucks forked up for these events is still heavily provided by the bride's father, a custom that has taken the place of the medieval dowry ( a sum of money paid by the father of the bride to the groom and his family for taking her in and feeding and clothing her). Friends are expected to buy extravagant, creative gifts; and the attendants must give time, money, travel, and effort, all to the nuptials. It can be a day of happiness, joy, and celebration, or one of stress, fighting, and dashed hopes-not to mention debt.
But the wedding is still considered if not the, ONE of the best days of a woman's life. Some go for fun, some for glamour, some for simplicity and intimacy. Whatever the dream, it can be achieved with a little money and a wedding planner at your disposal. The thing that gets our imaginations flying to the highest flights of ecstasy, however, is-the dress. It is the most expensive thing you will ever wear, and ideally it is to make you the most beautiful you will ever be.
Indeed, every woman's fantasy can now be met with the vast variety of styles available to the public. Like never before have women been able to achieve their seam dreams--so why is picking a wedding dress so stressful and emotional for so many of us?
I believe that part of this has to do with the extreme importance put on weddings, especially the dress, and the concern that one might not pick the best one, or that the dress you want will not please your family or groom. An identity crisis can be reached, where a bride has to dive deep into her soul and pick the very "style" of her personality. This can be a cause of great concern, or great comfort. When a bride goes to a bridal salon with her mother of friends, it can be hard for her to sort out what their opinions mean to her. On the other hand, if a bride goes alone or with the groom she is most likely going to second guess her decision anyway because she has no one to bounce the vision off of. It is always a good idea to seek the advice of the most experienced attendant in the salon and to have her bring dresses of her choosing for you, even if you have only wanted a certain kind. She has been at this a long time and could have an eye for what you'll love more than you do, as a flustered bride to be.
Brides tend to view their bodies negatively and want to hide themselves or even avoid the experience of shopping altogether. Breakdowns are common in bridal dressing rooms and demons come out of the closet when faced with hard decisions about your appearance. Even traumatic issues from the past can surface. One bride's sister had passed away and the bride was reluctant to pick a dress or even go forward with the wedding because she didn't want to celebrate when the sister wasn't there. She didn't realize any of this until she started trying on gowns.
Having an emotional game-plan before shopping is always a good idea. Plotting out how the day will go to the letter isn't going to work but vaguely hoping you might find something will leave you with nothing at the end of the day. Giving yourself enough time is also key. If you go into a salon and only have an hour, you will not be able to focus and will annoy the salon employees. You might need them to be on your side when you need rush tailoring. Looking at this as you did for prom shopping might not pay the proper decorum to the situation.
No longer are the days when a virgin wore white and divorcees were discouraged from celebrating their second marriage at all. Almost anything goes and if you want to show every inch of your body except for your genitals you are accommodated, if somewhat reluctantly. After all, there are websites that cater to that type of client. However, most brides go for the more family-friendly approach and cover their choicest bits until the wedding night.
ANY dress you want, you can have. ANY color too (even though white, cream, and ivory are still the clear favorites). You can buy them online, in a shop, order them from a catalog or specific designer, buy them from the runway, get them used on ebay or at a flea market, or design it yourself and have it made by a seamstress in your area. I have my own personal opinions about the types of dresses I think are lovely and tasteful but I have made some guidelines you might want to follow when choosing your dream frock:
1. It must fit.
2. It must flatter.
3. It must not exceed your dress budget.
4. It must be a style that you know you will continue to appreciate after many years time has passed.
5. It must make you feel very special.
6. It must not take the attention away from yourself, but rather showcase you.
7. It must not hurt in any way (shoes included).
8. It must fit into the car.
9. It must make you feel secure.
10. It must not be dirty.
11. It must appear to fit into the venue's style, decorations, architecture, and atmosphere. It must fit the tone.
12. It must not make you appear ghostly, peaked, or dirty.
I know that the unique bride might be going for an extremely sexy, creative, loud, gaudy, period, or genre specific dress but that does not mean you can not adhere to all of the guidelines suggested above.
