AWESOME!

OK readers, I have found a gold mine and I want to share it with you. Carol Tuttle's Dressing Your Truth beauty profiling series/kit sounds amazing! This Utah based life coach breaks each woman up into one of four different "types" and gives each type advice about identity and how to express it. She says that women are lost to themselves and dress confusedly. She says if we can know our type we can know ourselves. I want to try it but don't have the money. If any of you tries this please let me know how it goes. It seems VERY exciting!
She breaks through skin-type problems and hair woes, showing women with "type" makeovers. Of course there are testimonials.
I have always felt like I was every type. She says that it is true, every woman has parts of other types but a dominate one will stand out as your own. I took her beauty confidence quiz and received a "lost" prognoses on each of the seven points. I know this is so true for me. I really wish I could take the quiz. I only know two people who dress themselves as themselves. They are Jenny and Megan. It is exciting to see their ensembles because they look good on them and make THEM look good, not just the clothes. Hopefully I will be able to find out my type and get a clue into my own fashion identity. Because of all of my weight and body esteem issues I cannot connect with how I look. I wish I could be creative and expressive with my clothes, I have it in me somewhere, but for whatever reasons I just can't pull it together psychologically.
Come to me Carol Tuttle! Give me your knowledge!

The Beauty of Nature

Nature is the most beautiful thing we know. Much more majestic and noble than we are; more lasting. It awakens our waiting heart. It clears our mind. Moss and dried leaves can bring peace. There is so much nature, so much beauty to behold. Cultural living amongst our fellow man has a redeeming quality all its own-but there is something more to be said about standing silent and alone, looking out over a shadowy barren landscape in Arizona. Alone can be lonely, but in a redwood forest, one can be alone and also feel cared for and awed at the same time. Maybe it brings home the good character of God to our cluttered minds. Truth is clear and heals, so being in nature can do that also. The white silent snows of a Maine farm-scape. The autumn leaves of a Vermont forest. The eternal redwoods. The everglades by the sea. Numerous coastal tides. New Mexico desert. Idaho's plateaus and prairies. Southern California's mesas and palm trees. The creeks and rivers of Ohio and Kentucky. The orchards and gardens of Georgia. The moss of Mississippi. Orange, Peach, and Walnut groves. Springtime in Michigan. Summer sun in Arkansas. Utah's great lake-shore. Yosemite's sulfur springs. The endless grasslands of Montana. A friendly cowboy's ride into the sunset. How can we go wrong if we retreat to this paradise right outside our door? Watch your cares melt away beneath the open expanse of the sky, the night stars.

What Beauty Is

It is hard to define beauty. I know that when one sees it, a certain awe-inspired impression is made upon the beholder. You cannot predict its coming, it must be experienced. Some things are known generally as beautiful, and other beauties are a very personal, individual thing. Beauty must come from God and so he must himself possess some beauty. Created beauty is the only beauty. Spontaneous beautiful acts are still creations. A beautiful thing, belief, action, state of being, or feeling can make one happy or sad. Beauty can cause tears of joy or pain. Beauty is not all good, as nothing in this world is. The beauty we see here cannot be as good as the beauty we will encounter in the presence of God's beauty. Our world is corrupt, and so is our beauty. It never lasts long. Either the beautiful person gets old and dies or the beautiful feelings of love fade. A beautiful world cannot always be so. And so, beauty is not lasting, and so, less important than one might believe. For some reason, it is one of our favorite things, if not THE favorite of humans.

What do YOU find beautiful? It is hard to admit sometimes because it leaves us open for judgement. For whatever reason, beauty is personal because it is felt so deeply when encountered. I find the following things to be beautiful, maybe they show what I value, or perhaps it is all ingrained: Nature, animals (especially horses and cats), natural hair color, wood, thinness, thick hair, stylish interiors, large eyes on women, equestrianism, stories, gossip, history, genealogy, the Holy Spirit, love, peace, some music, perfectly manicured nails (painted, acrylic, or natural), colors, best friends, inspiration, hard work and the rest that follows, my husband, my family, my friends, Catholic churches/mass, blessings, seasonal activities, names, well-made clothing, fantasy, perfect health, disposable income, and youth.

There is also the type of beauty that has to do with how people look. Experts on the subject suggest that body symmetry and certain gendered ratios that designate good health are what causes widely recognized beauty. The problem is, someone can be perfectly symmetrical and still not be beautiful. And why would the female models of today be seen as beautiful when their lack of substantial fat causes menstrual omission? Androgyny is becoming more and more beautiful to our culture and yet this combined gendering must lead to procreative confusion in some way.

Then there are the "cute" animals, such as Scottish Fold kittens and hedgehogs. Why are they cute? Does being cute designate being round, suggesting a baby? Nature's way of causing us to be attracted to our babies and other dependent things? Beautiful people seem to be preferred over ugly people BECAUSE they are beautiful. Beauty evokes powerful reactions. Natural instincts or learned behavior?

A few studies I heard of really make a case for cultural cause. You have probably heard of the stories of island people's preferring a certain look as beautiful, and when introduced to our culture's television shows, promptly changes their bias. What do you think?

Beauty Routine

Everyone has their very own way of taking care of themselves. It is fun to know that everyone does it different, no matter what their mother taught them. For example, my mom always had us use Noxema face cream to wash up with. When I went to college I wanted to try some new things and haven't used Noxema since. Just last week though, I bought some again and it makes me happy. I never know which face wash works the best, but this one is nostalgic. I remember growing up with Prell and Herbal Essences shampoos. Dove soap. Nivea body wash. Vaseline for chap stick. Just odd things that every family has.

This is my routine now. It changes every now and again but this is mostly what I do.

When I take a shower I use Head and Shoulders for Men shampoo. It is the only one that works for both Drew and I with getting rid of dandruff. We don't have it anymore because we use this. It actually smells really good. I just lather once. If my hair is tangled I use Pantene Bounce conditioner on the ends. I use Dove original soap. I use Dial body wash, all different smells. For makeup remover I use Mary Kay, Almay for Contact Wearers, or Estee Lauder. For face washing clothes on the go I use Oil of Olay for Normal skin. Once a week I put Mary Kay's day solution on my face. I might also put it on if I am going out in the sun all day because it has 25 spf. I don't like to wear it everyday because I break out. I wear makeup about once or twice a month. I never do my hair, I don't even blow dry it, unless I am going somewhere very important. I don't like doing it and I don't want my hair to get even more damaged than it already is. When I do fix my hair I prep it with Silk Essences detangler and Paul Mirchell's Super Skinny Serum on the ends. Then I blow dry my hair in sections on a round brush until it is mostly dry. Then I comb it all, add mouse to the roots, and blow dry it upside down. Then I comb it again and go. Sometimes I will add hairspray. I do not pluck my eyebrows even though I think it can look good. I used to Biore my nose every month but I haven't bought them in awhile because they are very expensive. I combine a bunch of lotions into a container and use that as body lotion when I feel really dry, otherwise I don't really use it. I keep hand lotion in the bathroom in case I feel dry and I notice it by the sink. I brush and floss my teeth everyday. We use Total Whitening toothpaste. I think it is Colgate. I paint my nails about once a month and I usually keep my toenails painted. I wear perfume about four or five times a month. I use Love and Glamour by J.Lo and this cotton candy stuff. I also have vials of Flora by Gucci and Euphoria by CK. I hardly wear those. Maybe once every six months. I DO NOT clean my ears with cotton swabs because I used to get infections from doing that. I also try not to let too much water go in my ear in the shower. About every two months I'll take a bath. I use bath oil that smells like the Whole Foods toiletries section (ha ha). If I want to scrub my feet I use this peppermint paste and ice gel with old toothbrushes. I do not shave very often (don't freak out). I just don't think we should have to. Men don't, why should we? But because I don't want to scare everyone I shave about once every three weeks. My hair doesn't grow that fast anyway. I use the Intuition all-in-one shaver with the sensitive skin blades. I combine three face washes-Noxema, Biore Pore stuff, and Clean & Clear Pore stuff. I use Nivea chap stick. It is really smooth.

As you can see, I am very low maintenance and like it that way. I still enjoy being creative and feminine though. I keep my nails short for the most part. I am contemplating cutting my hair up to my shoulders just for convenience (my hair is really tangly) and also because it is really damaged on the bottom. Drew likes me to have long hair and I am in a wedding in September so I will wait until then to decide.

Clinton Kelly

For those of you who don't know, Clinton Kelly is one of the hosts on TLCs "What Not to Wear." I just read his book Oh No She Didn't! in which he talks about some fashion faux pas that drive him crazy. I would like to pass on some of them to you. Now, we are all guilty of breaking the well known fashion rules every now and again, but Clinton's hardcore musts will get you thinking.

1. Socks with clogs

2. Cheap hair accessories

3. Bad posture

4. Outdated hair styles

5. Mom jeans

6. Cartoon, sayings, location, or event T-shirts

7. Boob bulge from the too small bra

8. Sagging boob from too large bra

9. Camel toe or boy crotch

10. "Suntan in a can" hose

11. The 1990s sandal/chunky soled dark shoe

12. Looking like a stuffed sausage

13. Roots!

14. Unshaved legs under hose

15. Reinforced toe hose under sandals

16. Covering up under a tent

17. Brightly colored suits

18. Too much animal skin

19. Too much vintage

20. Lucite heels (stripper heels)

21. Saggy shoulders

22. The boring little black dress (usually under accessorized)

23. Matchy jewelry or outfits

24. Overpowering bags (fish, lunchbox, licence plate, corset, etc...)

25. Waiter wear (black pants, white top)

Hair, July 2011

My Sophistocate's Hair Style Guide came and I realized that I am getting sick of seeing certain styles that I believe have outstayed their welcome. The middle aged pixie; the wedge bob (all kinds); the super-long, super-thick curls that drown out the girl; the bowl; the longish layered dud; the dark roots with bleached bottom; the dark brown lower middle class gothish with two stripes in the front; the messy, multi-textured chin-length; the dark hair light eyebrows faux siren; and the uber-thick, extension-laden curl mop. I want to see realistic, substantial, solid structures that have movement and garner interest BUT ALSO follow the tried and true hair styling guidelines. It seems like so many women have opted for the long and thick hair trend, trading common style sense for so called sexiness.

Women

Women. We all want to be the best: The best wife, the best mother, the best on the job, the best friend, the best thinker, the best decorator-the best looking. Life is hard enough so why are we so competitive? We all think that the other has it better, that life isn’t fair. All of us want it all. We might as well wear green everyday because that is how we feel. From time to time this feeling can overwhelm a friendship or a co-working relationship. It can bring families to ruin, garnering hate and rage: Sister against sister, cousin against cousin, mother against daughter, aunt against friend. Why do we assume that we should have it all and be able to do it all? Why do we hate the skinnier woman who passes us on the street or the friend with the “perfect clothes?” I do mean the word ‘hate.’ If we aren’t “the best” we wonder why there is something wrong with us.

The pang of inadequacy is never far from our hearts. Daily, we hear criminally convincing voices shout,

“You are not as good as her. No man will ever look at you next to her. Your husband/fiancé/ boyfriend wants her, not you. If you were skinny like her you would have everything. Everyone likes her, no one likes you. She is better than you in everything. You will never measure up. Just give up now because she is perfect. Look how beautiful she is, you are so fat. You are worthless compared to her. She is rich and pretty because she deserves it, you don’t. Isn’t that so unfair? Don’t you wish you could be her or that she would disappear? If she is your friend everyone will look down on you. She has no problems, you have so many because you aren’t as good as her.”

How can we love our sister or our friend and at the same time hate them for how they look or what they have? Why do we compare ourselves? Why don’t men seem to have the same problem? We either gossip about people we are jealous of and try to tear them down so that we will feel better or we suffer in silence, pretending, revering the other as a saint, and we the sinner. Why do we make lives harder for ourselves?

Did we learn it from our mothers, and they from theirs? Was it genetic? Was it culture? Was it the curse of Eve (I will greatly increase your pain in conception and childbirth and your desire will be for your husband and he will rule over you. Gen. 3:16) implying that we will all fight over mans’ affection and both the ways of conceiving and birthing will be a trial for us?

We buy fashion magazines that objectify women just as much as pornography does. We buy clothes that feed money into a system that is exploitive. We take the hair off of our legs, armpits, and pubic areas for goodness’ sake! What is more degrading than that? Are women so gross that we must remove parts of ourselves in order to be accepted? And yet, women perpetuate this obsession with looks much more than men do. Why? Why do women undergo life threatening procedures for image?

With all of the makeup and glossy ads out today you would think that women would have much more fuel for creative self-esteem building, and yet we feel worse than ever. Underneath the guise of self expression lies a hidden beast that lives to bring about the untimely deaths of women’s souls. We are all so jealous, bitter, and defeated that you would think we would give up this superwoman saga, but the war rages on, literally, under the surface. Society likes to keep women’s anger, hatred, and rage under control but all these years of playing nice have created road raging child beaters. Sexless at home yet loose on the street, modern women are in trouble.

Let’s focus on self-image for a moment. Being feminine is very complex today. If someone dares to write their own rules they are exploited or rejected. Rarely will you find a happy woman. There is always something we are told is wrong with us. The biggest attack on our selfhood comes in the form of “health awareness.” We are told over and over again that thin is healthy and fat is not. That thin is attractive and fat is not. That thin is youthful and fat is aged. A new, more subtle, form of eugenics has even arisen in the last two decades. We are taught from a young age to hate our bodies-and therefore-ourselves. We are told that we can regain the worth we lost by being imperfect by becoming thin/beautiful. If we can only attain that then we can be loved and worth it. As women we do not even know how to love self anymore for self’s sake. We do not know who we are as individuals; we only know what “the mold” is.

With no one to teach us and no one to fight, we fall by the thousands under the scythe of belittlement. Who are we? Why are we women and not precious and unique souls with the will to live and the creative expression of work and love? Why is our weight, house, car, job, husband’s job, children’s behavior, and social status the litmus test? Must we be so helpless just because we are helpless?

I believe that this whole horrible mess is caused by Satan’s whisperings. He chose to belittle us long ago and has carved us into deformed creatures indeed. While men are now slaves to their physical lusts we are slaves to approval. He separated us in the beginning so that we would think we were different and not as good as men. Throughout the centuries he has stunted us in every way he could, even causing men to hate us and us to hate ourselves. We have become cursed due to his powerful persuasions.

It seems as if now we are no longer able to withstand the onslaught of lies and we see them as the undeniable truth. It seems totally natural to fear the thinness of another or her Bentley. It seems totally natural to fear utter rejection at the mention of your friend’s name at the awards ceremony and not yours. There is no way we can stop or change.

No way except through the Word. Our emotions and thoughts can be a throbbing mess of clouded pain but the Word stands firm against the storm. Satan wants us to put off reading it because he knows how powerful it is. In Ephesians 5 it is called the “sword of truth” with a double edged blade. It is the only way we can defeat the enemy. Our lives are so twisted and green that we cannot see the forest for the trees, let alone life knowledge. We need the answers outside of ourselves and our pain, confusion, and emotional ups and downs. Once we start memorizing scripture we will be able to fight the thoughts as they come with the very words of truth.

This will be hard, but it is so much easier than living in this filth of jealousy, hate, and self-loathing. Over time, we will automatically start to think like the Bible and the Spirit will bring passages to mind just when we need them most. There are many parts of the Bible that seem to demean and subjugate women by emphasizing their cattle-like status, but that is what Satan wants you to think. We must know that God is good and he loves us just as much as he loves men. If you ask, the Spirit will reveal the meanings to you. You will eventually be lifted up, not torn down. Each time you read you will have another arrow in your arsenal. See-God designed us to be soldiers too!

Life is hard, but living without the Word is harder.

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